he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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