Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
