I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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