I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
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Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
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I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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