highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I want to fling myself into the sun
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
