she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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