i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
