Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize