So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
