i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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