we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize