we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
