His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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