im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
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I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
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I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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