So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
