i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
