We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
