On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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