Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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