i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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