My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
