you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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