They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
