Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Floor bacon is actually really good
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
