I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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