dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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