I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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