Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize