so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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