i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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