I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
