I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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