We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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