just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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