I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
