there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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