Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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