Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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