I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i was born a porn star she said
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize