I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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