oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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