we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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