I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
