How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
