Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
