i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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