There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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