he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
