I wish I could teleport
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
