We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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