I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
