Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize