have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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