I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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