I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
