A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize