Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
