She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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