I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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