I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
