So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Drunk is not a location!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
