WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I did not marry a roomba.
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