Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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