He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
